April Fools
by TurnThePaige
Summary: This story delivers the tale of Bella's April Fools joke gone too far. Please R&R!


**He he, I don't know exactly where I came up with this; my mind is kinda twisted I guess. . . . It's kind of mean to Edward, unfortunately, but funny too. Hope y'all like it, but ya know that's up to you!**

Nearly 109 April Fools Days and counting. It got tedious for Edward and he gave it little consideration on March 31. However, he did once think about pulling a prank on Bella. Then he thought that she would never do anything like that to him and dropped the idea.

He was wrong.

Bella woke on March 31 with a wonderfully mischievous idea. She didn't know where it came from, but she thought it would be funny. . . for her, at least. She knew that Edward would be hunting that day with Renee, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper. Carlisle needed to stay home and do some work. So that afternoon, Bella hopped into her old red truck and drove to the Cullen residence.

Bella was greeted by Carlisle's wide smile. She knew that he wasn't expecting her to come by, but he didn't seem to mind. Bella entered the immense house and told Carlisle her plan. Carlisle grinned and they worked out the details together, most of them just put aside as, "I can handle that" or "Renee will help" or "I think I have some extra" or "I'll just have to not think about it, then." Bella left before the others returned and promised to come back early tomorrow.

When she did return, Edward's topaz eyes flashed with delight and Bella almost thought twice about the joke. However, when an earlier-informed and eager Alice called to Edward from outside, Bella just smiled as Renee went to work with the old leftover red Halloween makeup.

Outside, Alice had started talking to Edward and then feigned a "vision" so that he would stay out with her while the others prepared everything. She mumbled words that meant nothing to Edward, who felt inclined to just stay put. . . until they both heard a piercing shriek followed by a loud _Bang!_ coming from inside the house. Alice pretended to "snap out of it", so to speak, and Edward was already gone. She grinned and ran to watch.

As soon as Edward rushed into the house, a shocking sight met his eyes. Bella lay sprawled out with her back flat on the floor. The flesh on her neck had been bitten into and blood had begun to ooze so unbelievably slowly out of the gash that it seemed not to move at all. She screamed as she lay there, painfully familiar to Edward. Nearby, Emmett was pushing Jasper against the wall as if to keep them both away from Bella. Carlisle soon entered and looked worriedly around as Alice and Renee came in, appearing shocked at the intensity of the scene.

Edward was at Bella's side immediately. "Bella!" he cried, feeling his cold heart shatter once more. "You're okay, you'll be okay." He shot an unbelievably hateful look toward Jasper, then turned back to Bella. He felt so confused.

Carlisle knelt on the other side of Bella and looked up gravely to say, "You know what to do." Bella almost burst out in laughter instead of screaming because of his great acting skills, but she continued bellowing as Edward urgently gazed down at her.

Edward took a deep, unnecessary breath, bent down farther and whispered, "I just hope I can do this again." The very instant his lips contacted her neck, Bella clutched Edward's arm and stopped shouting. She didn't want to take any chances of really being bitten. Edward drew back, puzzled.

Bella leaned toward him and breathed in a voice raspy from screeching, "April Fools."

Laughter erupted all around Edward as everyone released their tense poses. Edward stood up instantly and Bella clambered up after him, clutching her side as she remembered his face. It was really sweet that he cared about her so, but hilarious that he didn't catch on _at all!_ What were the odds?

Bella looked at Edward, curious to how he had taken it. She had expected him to be angry, but he _much_ more than that. His features showed that he felt furious, irate, antagonized, enraged, inflamed, outraged, fuming, loathing, and infuriated **(AN: I love me a good thesaurus!)** in great quantities all at once. Seriously, he was _mad!_

"That wasn't funny!" Edward roared savagely. However, the smudge of red on his scowling face begged to differ, and everyone couldn't help but laugh harder.

Bella did feel a twinge of guilt, though, and ran up to Edward to embrace him with her head laid lightly on his chest. She stayed in this position as the laughter died down and Edward stood stubbornly, as motionless as a rock. Bella looked up into Edward's eyes and said, "I love you," with a smile.

But Edward's face was set in stone as he pried Bella off of his torso and ran out of the house. Now everyone felt bad, but no one could catch him, and they all knew it.

Edward still hadn't returned the next day, so Bella decided to go and look for him. She knew exactly where to look, too. Again she hopped into her truck and drove as far as she could, until the forest began. She carefully followed the path that Edward had guided her down what seemed like a long time ago. After a long and frustrating hike, Bella came upon the meadow.

"Go away, Bella," Edward growled without revealing himself. There was barely any light left in the day, and Bella was very tired. She plopped down in the center of the beautiful scene and just sat there. She really didn't know what she was doing or what she was going to say.

"I said," Edward called from somewhere around, "go away."

Bella stubbornly lied on her back, closed her eyes, and forced herself to breathe evenly. "No," she answered obstinately, "not until you'll listen to me." At this, Bella opened her eyes again to find a wild-looking Edward looming over her. His skin was still barely glimmering in the fading daylight, but it was still beautiful.

"What do you want?" Edward snapped.

Bella sighed and stood up. She stared into Edward's eyes and said softly, "This." Then she leaned forward and kissed him lightly on his cool, marble, no longer red lips.

Edward unwillingly flinched back. "Then leave," he commanded. He turned away and jumped onto a tree branch noiselessly. Bella could still see Edward's bright eyes glaring at her through the leaves. She was truly hurt at this, but she knew she deserved it.

"Edward, please," Bella begged, "listen. I'm really sorry, and I know I shouldn't have done it. It was wrong and terrible and rude and sad. I'm a horrible person for messing with you, and it was all my idea. Don't be mad at the others; blame me forever, but your mother is worried and your whole family feels awful. . . . I. . . I'm sorry. . . ." Bella sat down again and cradled her head in her hands. "I don't know what else to say."

They sat like that for a while, until the sky grew dark. Bella had been crying, but she'd done it quietly and without shaking. She didn't know how in the world she had managed that, but she had. She felt Edward's ever-vigilant gaze on her the whole time, surveying her thoughtfully. Eventually, Bella fell asleep, which was what Edward had been waiting for.

Late in the night, Bella stirred and awoke, having touched something cold. When her eyes opened, she couldn't see anything because it was so dark, but she knew that Edward was laying beside her.

"The stars are remarkable," Edward pointed out. Bella looked up and thoroughly agreed that the ebony sky, speckled with tiny winks of light, was quite a sight. "You know, I thought about pulling a prank on you for April Fool's Day," Edward added. "Then I figured that you wouldn't do that to me, and I never gave it a second thought." Edward paused. "I guess I was wrong."

Bella squirmed a bit. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could just undo that whole day."

Edward sighed. "Me, too." There was a long silence in which Bella almost fell asleep again. Then Edward said, "I can't believe I didn't see it coming. I should have been able to tell there was no external blood. And how was everyone in on it, and I, of all people, didn't know what was going on? How could they protect their thoughts?"

Bella thought about this. "Maybe they were just thinking stronger about something else," she suggested. Then, after another long pause, she added, "No one ever thought this would hurt you so much. I guess I just think all the time that you're so strong, nothing can harm you."

"Sad will be the day when a man is born with no weakness," Edward said soulfully. Bella didn't know if he was quoting someone or if he'd just made it up, but it was touching and true either way.

The next morning, Bella knew that she was still not completely forgiven as she and Edward drove back. "Next year," Bella promised, "you have dibs on the big April Fools Day joke."

Edward shook his head, offering a halfhearted smile. "Now, what makes you think I'll wait a whole year?"

**Again, it was mean to Edward, but I had the idea and I just had to write it down! Keep in mind as you review that I have only read the first book you know. I'm not a vampire expert as most of my female peers are. Okay, now: the answer to the first riddle on my profile! If you haven't read it, then go back and do so before you read the answer! Which is . . . . Stop imagining!**


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